Monday, January 19, 2009

A list of things that I just don't understand.

  • Why people like the movie Marley and Me... I saw it 20 years ago when it was called Turner and Hooch. Only difference is that Turner and Hooch had Tom Hanks and sweet buddy cop sequences, which make it the far superior work.
  • People who think parrots are good pets.
  • How I never knew plow trains existed until a few weeks ago.
  • How people other than me don't think plow trains are the most awesome thing ever.
  • The Society for Creative Anachronism.
  • Tim and Eric.
  • Why FedEx still delivers on MLK Day when the Post Office doesn't. Does FedEx hate black people?
  • Gin in forms other than "and tonic"/"and juice."
  • How Kelly Clarkson can do a song like "Since You've Been Gone" that talks about how much better her life is now that she is out of a bad relationship but then go and do a song like her new single "My Life Would Suck Without You." With lyrics like "Being with you is so dysfunctional, I really shouldn’t miss you, but I can’t let go," and "I know that I’ve got issues, But you’re pretty messed up too, Anyway, I found out I’m nothing without you," Ms. Clarkson is clearly in a destructive, co-dependent relationship. That's backsliding, Kelly, for shame.
You used to be so strong, Kelly.
  • Twitter.
  • The fact that people in Madison aren't scared of the end of the Bush administration. The drop off in sales of Anti-Bush buttons and bumper stickers is going to kill off 10% of the stores in town.
  • How Jesus jokes can still be considered edgy.
  • People who still use Hotmail accounts.
  • Why Michael Cera won't sign on for the Arrested Development movie.
  • What makes pomegranates so amazing.
  • How the economy works.
  • How Battlestar Galactica can get so much press coverage when, like, 5 people watch it.
  • Why it's so damn difficult for me to come up with a name for my one-person "production company."
  • That I didn't realize that we could have ended racism years ago, all we needed to do was have Wisconsin State Journal editoral cartoonist Phil Hands do a strip about it.
Phil Hands: 1, Racism: 0.

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