Dan Potacke's Party Planning Tips

Guest Blog by: Dan Potacke

Hi, I’m Dan Potacke. You might remember me as Dan Potacke of Dan Potacke Travel. Or perhaps you know me as Dan Potacke of Dan Potacke-bay. Or maybe you’ve never heard of me until right now, which is great, it’s always nice to make new friends. Hi, new blog buddy.

But today I’m here as Dan Potacke, guest blogger, and I’m going to give you some tips to throw a holiday party. Now, I was going to put this up a couple weeks ago, back before most people had their X-Mas shindigs, but I wasn’t able to get on the internet on account of my 56k being on the fritz. Anywho, this guide should still be helpful for those who are still going to throw a holiday party in the next two days and the rest of you can just save this in your bookmarks until next December. There this blog entry will sit, safe and dependable, just like me.

Anywho, here are some helpful tips so you can have a successful holiday party, Dan Potacke-style!

1. Invite People
He he, of course, silly, you need to invite people to share your party with. Otherwise you’ll just end up setting at home by yourself with an empty table with placemats set out for 12. And trust me, that gets less fun after you do that every day for a few months.

I’d suggest inviting at least 4 to 5 times as many people than you can hold in your apartment, even if they all say they are coming, you should still invite more. The reason you should invite so many is that some people are sure to get sick as December is the heart of sniffles season. Last year, a lot of my guests had to drop out on the night of the party due to a variety of illnesses: cold, flu, even smallpox! I thought that disease had been eradicated so I was surprised it didn’t make the news when my brother, his wife and 4 children all came down with smallpox in the same afternoon. But what can you expect from the mainstream media?

2. Plan a menu
Yum yum yum! This is one of the funnest and most stressful parts of throwing the party, getting the grub. You don’t want to get anything too complicated, like the one year my ex-wife planned a really elaborate menu and I spent the entire party in the kitchen and never even saw my guests. Though Tom, my former employee from the short-lived Dan Potacke Dry Cleaning, said that the year where I was away the whole time was the best holiday party I ever had, he must have really appreciated the extra work I put into the food.

You also need to plan for any kind of guest, as you could have someone from any culture or walk of life thanks to the great melting pot that is America. Don’t get caught off-guard and plan something for any vegetarian guests. One time when my cousin brought her boyfriend over who was something called a vegan and I tried to wrap a leaf of romaine lettuce around a hot dog, that didn’t turn out so well. But I did get compliments for my nice plating.

3. Have a leisure activity
After the meal, you don’t want people getting up and leaving. That’s why you need a fun activity to keep everyone happy. Some people love to gather around the piano and sing. Though, for me this has a few drawbacks because I’m still getting over my divorce. I tear up when I hear any song from our wedding, or any song from our honeymoon to beautiful Peoria, Illinois, or any song sung by a female singer as it reminds me of my ex-wife’s voice. So I usually don’t go for the piano.

Instead, I bust out the old game of Life. At my parties, I used to say, “I don’t know why they call them ‘bored’ games, they are always fun for me. I think they should call them ‘excitement’ games.” At least until the time when one of my guests told me that they are called board games because they are played on a game board but I think my statement is still valid… and funny to boot!

4. Cocktail hour
At this point, your guests might be getting a little wiped out from the fun of the ‘excitement’ games so you need something to perk them up, so I serve up some cocktails. I usually serve up non-alcoholic drinks, you can serve up some ‘spirits’ if you want but I’d advise against it if you are still married. If your wife is anything like mine, she will get a little loopy and start berating you for all of your faults. As your family and friends sit there, she will go into incredible detail about your inadequacies in bed, you know, the usual drunk talk.

If you still have wives, you should try to prevent this from happening.

God, I still miss her so.

5. Clean up
Finally, once the guests leave, it’s time to clean up. I don’t have many tips for this one. One of my relatives keeps on stealing all of my forks and spoons which makes clean-up a breeze for me!

But once clean up is done, sit back and reflect on another successful holiday party. Those recollections will be invaluable if you are like me and spend Christmas alone. But you are never alone if you can hang out with your friends… in your memories!


Happy Holidays,
Dan Potacke